Episode 38 How to Stop Worrying About Work

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Welcome to Unstuck and Unstoppable,

the podcast for ambitious female

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leaders who want to create more impact,

income, and influence in their careers.

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feel connected to their passion

and purpose, but without

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selling out or burning out.

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I'm Sarah Archer, a leadership coach

and career strategist, helping women

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like you thrive in leadership roles

while staying true to your values.

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I'm the founder of CareerTree

Coaching and have over 15 years of

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coaching experience and significant HR

leadership experience to share with you.

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I know as a female leader it can

be hard to find time to focus

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on your career aspirations.

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The day job can be all consuming.

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Plus, no matter how senior you are,

there are always going to be times

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when you feel stuck, when you have

self doubt, or feel like an imposter.

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And that's where unstuck

and unstoppable comes in.

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Each week I'll be sharing practical

strategies, insightful interviews and

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inspiring stories to help you boost

your confidence, lead with purpose

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and achieve sustainable success.

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If you're ready to stop playing

small and unlock the incredible

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potential you have within you and feel

unstoppable, you're in the right place.

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Let's get started.

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Welcome to episode 38.

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I'm really glad you're here.

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This week's episode is about how

to stop worrying at work, and

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this is gonna be so helpful to

you if you are a bit of a worrier.

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And personally, I have always been a

worrier and I've had to work really

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hard to develop strategies to.

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Manage that anxiety and some of those

strategies I'm gonna share with you today.

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So I hope you really

enjoy,, today's episode.

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We've all had those times in our careers

where we have that dread on a Sunday

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night.

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We're just not looking forward to

Monday mornings, or we're worrying and

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ruminating thinking about things that have

happened or conversations that we've had.

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All those times when we just feel

under incredible scrutiny as a

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leader in terms of what we're

doing and how we're doing it.

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And that causes that sense of

anxiety, which can affect our sleep.

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It can impact the quality of our life,

the quality of our enjoyment at work.

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And there are lots of causes as a leader

of why you might be at the moment feeling

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a bit anxious or starting to worry about

things at work that can be high workloads.

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Not having that time to think and reflect

and make changes that you need to because

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you're just, on the go the whole time.

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It might be very complex problems

that you're having to deal with.

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Maybe some of them you haven't

tackled before, they're new to you.

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Could be challenging relationships

either within the organization

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or outside of the organization.

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It could be that you've got particular

targets or business goals that

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you're trying to meet that are

creating anxiety or worrying you.

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It might, that you have a very

demanding boss or that you are

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working in a fast-paced culture that

doesn't give you that reflection time.

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Or it could be specific events

that are coming up or that have

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happened that you are worrying about.

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It could be that you are in a new role and

that you're stepping out of your comfort.

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Zone in that new role.

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Plus we have to add into the mix

the sort of general uncertainty

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in the world at the moment and how

that percolates into our industry or

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into our organization or day-to-day.

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What I just want to say as a

caveat that if you feel that your.

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Stretch is tipping into overwhelming

stress that is really impacting

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you and causing high anxiety,

sleeplessness, impacting your

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quality of life significantly.

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Then it's worth thinking about

are you heading towards burnout?

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Are you tipping into burnout?

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And, what action can you take to get

yourself some support around that?

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'Cause today we're talking about more.

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Situational anxiety where as I've

said, those things I've just mentioned

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are impacting you and creating

that Sunday night dread feeling.

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And also we have to acknowledge

that certain personality types are

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more prone to anxiety or worrying.

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If you are high on conscientiousness,

you're going to probably worry more.

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If you've got perfectionist tendencies,

you are also going to worry more.

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Certainly I know I've always been

a worrier, even from a child.

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I used to have Sunday night

dread before going to school.

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Even though my school experience

was very positive, I would just

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worry unnecessarily, and it's

something I've had to work on.

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'cause I'm guessing I've got a personality

type that is more prone to worrying.

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I've had to work on managing , that

low level anxiety and also

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building my confidence so that it

doesn't impact me significantly.

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Some of the things I'm gonna share today

are things that I have used myself.

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And I also work with clients, senior

clients, in leadership roles who have

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this experience where they're triggered

and they're starting to worry which.

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Obviously, in a leadership role, you're

always going to have those stretch

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experiences where you're gonna be doing

things you haven't done before, or

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you're coping with high workload, or

you've got challenging relationships

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going on, or there's a particular

event or something you're gonna be

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involved in a project where it's

going to make you feel more anxious.

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It is having strategies to help you

navigate that because it's always

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going to be part of your experience.

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And someone I'm working with at the

moment, they're in a new leadership role.

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They've been in that role for about

eight to nine months, and it is a

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big step out of their comfort zone.

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It's probably two or three

steps out of their comfort zone.

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And what has happened is that,

anxiety has created unhelpful thought

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patterns and triggers that we are

working to manage because you don't

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want this to become embedded and

become your way of being and feeling

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that low level anxiety all the time.

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So the think take away specifically

is there are techniques

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you can use to change this.

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It doesn't have to be a fixed state.

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Let's dive into what you can do, and

I'm gonna share a few different ideas.

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You can choose just one to think about.

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You can experiment with a few you can

just do what's most helpful for you.

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The first thing would be to, if you

are doing this, not to catastrophize,

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because sometimes when we've got these.

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Sunny night dreads, these worries,

these anxieties where we're ruminating

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about things, it can lead us to

think about the worst case scenario

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that I'm going to not perform.

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I'm going to.

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Potentially get sacked, lose my job.

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I'm not gonna pay the mortgage, I'm gonna

lose my house, whatever it might be.

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And what we don't want to do is go down

that route, which is easy to fall into

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by, reminding ourselves that we can get

some perspective on this, that actually.

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It's not going to result

in you losing your job.

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It's a situational thing that's

happening, that's creating this anxiety.

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And there's actions that you can

take to manage the situation.

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So just not going to that place of

catastrophe because it's not helpful.

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The second thing is to isolate

what is causing the worrying.

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So on the Sunday night, what is it that

you are specifically worried about because

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then you can direct your energy into.

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Managing that anxiety, that worry

about that particular activity,

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project relationship, whatever it is.

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And then the third thing to do

is to do a bit of reframing.

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So to see.

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This stress, this bit of stress, this

bit of anxiety as a positive, and I'm

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saying positive sort of within Iver commas

because it's actually recognizing that

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your anxiety is a sign that you care

about your work, you care about your

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team, you care about the organization.

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So to be able to reframe this,

what we need to do is just notice.

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In our body that we're experiencing

that anxiety and acknowledge

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that's what's going on.

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For me, I probably feel it in two places.

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I feel it in the tension in my

neck and shoulders and I can

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sometimes feel it in my stomach.

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It's noticing where in your body you

are, you're you are noticing that

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anxiety, that worrying is happening and

acknowledge it's going on for a start.

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And then connect to the

motivation behind the stress.

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So thinking about what's at stake

and why does it matter to me?

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I'll share with you something that's

happening for me at the moment is next

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week I'm launching my podcast and I'm

experiencing some anxiety around it.

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And for me, I can connect with the

fact that I want it to be good.

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I want it to be a good experience.

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'cause I want to share my

knowledge and expertise with

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female leaders to help them.

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Be better in their careers to manage the

challenges in their careers effectively.

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I want it to be a great podcast

so I can connect with that.

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And that helps me then understand, okay,

why am I feeling anxious about this

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and how can I use that effectively?

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That brings me into my next point, which

is to try and make use of the energy that

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the stress or the worry is giving you

instead of wasting energy trying to stop.

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Feeling stressed.

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What can you do that moves you forward

rather than trying to think your way

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out of being stressed or anxious?

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For example, to illustrate this, say I've

got a presentation to give and , it's that

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situational worry or anxiety , about it.

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I notice that what I do is I

channel my energy into creating

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engaging content and fantastic

resources to support the content.

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I know that is something that I'm

doing, but I'm not really aware

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of it in terms of channeling that.

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Stress energy into doing that.

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So it's just about making that

more conscious so that you are

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actually utilizing the stress and

the anxiety in a positive way.

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And if you want to read more about it,

there's a great book called The Upside

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of Stress by Kelly McGonigal, and I'll

put a link to that for you as well.

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Think about, okay, I know that I'm

feeling anxious about the moment.

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What am I feeling anxious about?

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And actually how can I connect with

why I'm feeling anxious about it?

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And then channel that energy into doing

something that takes me forward at.

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Dealing with that particular

topic, project, relationship,

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whatever it might be.

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And then what I'm gonna do now is

give you a few techniques if you are

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worrying on a Sunday night, because that

is not a place you wanna be stuck in.

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And it can start even

earlier than Sunday night.

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It can be your Sunday can be thinking,

oh God, I really dreading tomorrow.

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Try a few of these things to help

you manage that Sunday night feeling.

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The first thing to do, and all

of these are very simple and you

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will know about them already.

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I'm just bringing them

more into your awareness.

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The first thing to do is to make

a to-do list, because the act of

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writing down uncompleted tasks.

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Decreases cognitive arousal.

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So stops you thinking

about it all the time.

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It decreases rumination and worry.

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It stops it going round

and round in your head.

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Make a list of everything you've

got to do that you know you are

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concerned about, you're worried about.

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You can even allocate a time slot

to them so you can think, okay,

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Monday morning, I know I'm gonna deal

with A, B, C 'cause that's the top

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things I know I've gotta deal with.

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And then Monday afternoon

I'm gonna deal with X, Y, z.

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You can reassure yourself that

you've got a plan and it can

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just get it outta your head.

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The second thing to do is similar,

but it's to start keeping a journal.

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Because writing down your thoughts

and feelings rather than just thinking

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about them helps you to process emotion

and then reduces stress and anxiety.

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It gives you some perspective

and it gets it outta your head.

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It stops.

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Its.

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Circulating again, round and round.

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Now lots of people find journaling really

useful and it might be that you already

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journal and you can maybe start journaling

specifically about your work worries.

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If you haven't journaled before

or you're not sure if it'll

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work for you, give it a try.

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You can sometimes find it helpful to set a

timer to say, okay, gonna set 10 minutes.

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I'm just gonna write

whatever's in my head.

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And then it just stops you thinking for

half an hour, what am I gonna write about?

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You just set your calendar,

I'm just gonna get it out.

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The third thing to do, which is a

great practice, whatever you're doing,

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is to be compassionate to yourself.

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Because sometimes if we've got

to worry we beat ourselves up.

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We think I'm a leader.

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I should be able to cope with this.

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Why am I worrying about it?

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I don't want to spend my

time worrying about it.

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And you just beat yourself up about

the fact that you're worrying.

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Whereas what we want to do

is remind ourselves to circle

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back to why we're worrying.

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It's because we care about our jobs.

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We care about our team, we care

about the work we're delivering.

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So reminding ourselves about that and

then talking to ourselves compassionately,

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like we would talk to a close friend who'd

shared their worries or concerns with

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you, rather than beating yourself up.

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Just saying to yourself.

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Look, it's because you

care about what you do.

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That's why you're

feeling anxious about it.

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You know you've got a plan.

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You've made a to-do

list, it's gonna be okay.

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You can work through this.

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Just reminding yourself that

you know, you've got the skills

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and capability to sort this out,

and just being compassionate.

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Then the other two things I'm gonna

share with you are just quite practical.

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So engaging in physical activity whether

that's just going for a walk or doing some

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exercise that you know you like doing.

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Because the research shows that just a

single instance of moderate exercise,

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so that could be walking at a reasonable

pace, can decrease rumination.

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It decreases that circular thoughts

going around and around your head.

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So you could try that.

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If you have got the Sunday night dread.

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Make your to-do list and then

maybe engage in some moderate

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activity, physical activity.

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And the other thing that is helpful

as well is meditation, which

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you may already do, but maybe

you haven't tried meditation.

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And again, the research I was looking

at shows that even over a two week

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period, doing 10 minutes meditation

in the morning and 10 minutes in the

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evening can help to calm a racing

mind and increase your sleep quality.

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There are lots and lots of apps you

can find that give you meditations of

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varying lengths about varying topics.

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There will be meditations for anxiety,

there'll be meditations for worrying,

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there'll be meditations for feeling more

positive or gratefulness or whatever it

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is you feel drawn to that would help you

manage these concerns on a Sunday night.

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There are just a few ideas to experiment

with to get your equilibrium back really.

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Just to remind you on the bigger

picture is to not catastrophize, to

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isolate what the worry is about and

then start to see it as a positive

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connect with what is driving it, what

is it that is important to you, and

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then think about how you can channel.

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That energy into moving forward

with that particular area

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that you're concerned about.

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And then managing the Sunday night

piece is to make your, to-do list, do

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a bit of journaling be compassionate

to yourself, do some physical

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exercise and try out some meditation.

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Do let me know how you get on with

that, if any of those techniques work.

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And if this is something you are

struggling with, then do , message me

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and we can have a conversation about

how coaching can help you manage some

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of those workplace worries as a leader.

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Have a great week and I will be

back with another topic to support

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you in your leadership career.

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Thank you so much for listening

to this episode of the Unstuck

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and Unstoppable podcast.

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I have lots of free resources you

can access on my website, ww.career

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tree coaching.co

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uk, and I'll also put

links in the show notes.

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If you found this episode

helpful, then please subscribe

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so you don't miss the next one.

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And please do share it with a

friend and leave me a review

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and I will personally thank you.

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Remember, you're capable of more

than you know, shine brightly.

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Lead boldly and unlock the

extraordinary potential within you.

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Be unstoppable.