Episode 27 How to Speak Up in Meetings & Increase your Visibility

Speaker: 00:00:04

Welcome to Unstuck and Unstoppable,

the podcast for ambitious female

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leaders who want to create more impact,

income, and influence in their careers.

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feel connected to their passion

and purpose, but without

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selling out or burning out.

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I'm Sarah Archer, a leadership coach

and career strategist, helping women

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like you thrive in leadership roles

while staying true to your values.

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I'm the founder of CareerTree

Coaching and have over 15 years of

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coaching experience and significant HR

leadership experience to share with you.

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I know as a female leader it can

be hard to find time to focus

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on your career aspirations.

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The day job can be all consuming.

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Plus, no matter how senior you are,

there are always going to be times

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when you feel stuck, when you have

self doubt, or feel like an imposter.

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And that's where unstuck

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Each week I'll be sharing practical

strategies, insightful interviews and

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inspiring stories to help you boost

your confidence, lead with purpose

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and achieve sustainable success.

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If you're ready to stop playing

small and unlock the incredible

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potential you have within you and feel

unstoppable, you're in the right place.

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Let's get started.

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Welcome to episode 27.

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I'm really pleased you're here with me.

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And today we're talking about

how to speak up in meetings

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and increase your visibility.

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This is a really great topic and it's one

that lots of people struggle with, which

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is why I chose it, because it comes up

a lot with the clients that I work with.

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And that's how to speak up in meetings

and increase your visibility because

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if you are not contributing in those

meetings, then your visibility is going

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to start to go down in the organization.

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And we've all been there, we've all sat in

a meeting thinking, what am I gonna say?

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When am I gonna get the opportunity

to speak and contribute?

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What if I don't get the opportunity?

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We do all of that overthinking when

we're sat in the meeting, or maybe we've

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been in the meeting, we've contributed,

but our contribution has been ignored,

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overlooked, talked over, and we leave

the meeting feeling deflated and

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feeling like we haven't done ourselves

a favor in terms of having impact or

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influence in that particular meeting.

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But if that's you, if that's something

you are experiencing at the moment,

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please take away that you're not alone.

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So many women, so many female leaders

struggle with this particular issue.

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And it's hard enough to get a seat at the

high level meetings anyways, isn't it?

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And we don't want this fear of speaking

or worried about speaking in meetings to

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hold you back and to impact your career.

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But it is a complicated.

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Thing because there's lots going

on that get in the way of us

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contributing in meetings, and

there's lots of research around this.

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I'm just gonna name a few of these things.

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First of all, there's this sense

of there being a possible risk

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or backlash if we contribute.

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If as a woman we're overly assertive

or overly vocal, that could be viewed

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negatively and not go in our favor.

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Plus.

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And there's also the gender

stereotypes and socialization.

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Things are moving in a more

positive direction, but a lot of

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those biases are still still there.

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And, girls tend to be socialized to

be more passive and deferential, and

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that can stay with you and then tip

over into professional environment.

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I've mentioned before about likability

bias, where as women, we not only

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have to be competent at what we

do, we also have to demonstrate

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likability, warmth, et cetera.

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Then there's our own

internal stuff that we bring.

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So our own confidence gremlins our

own self-doubt that also has an impact

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when we're thinking about speaking out.

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Plus research shows that women tend

to be interrupted more when they're

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contributing and talked over more.

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Often than men, like I said, it's complex.

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That's just four of the areas

that can get in the way.

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So if you are finding it a challenge

to have impact at meetings, then

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, please do take a bit of comfort

that, this is a complicated thing.

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There's definitely lots you can

do to make it easier for yourself.

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And we're gonna look at

some of those things today.

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Because when you are in that

meeting, like I said before, you do

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have that overthinking going on.

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It feels the most important thing

in that meeting is that I say

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something and that's a huge amount

of pressure to put on ourselves.

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And we might have that self-talk going on.

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That is I've got nothing to

say, or Actually my comment

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is not really valuable.

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People aren't gonna

think it's very useful.

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And that can just play into

as not then contributing.

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Or it might be the meeting is

dominated by very loud confident

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people which can make it harder or.

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If you are in a new setting, and that's

often again, when this can crop up.

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You might feel rested about

pushing yourself out there.

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So maybe you've got a new role or

you've been promoted and you are now

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in a new, more senior team, or you've

got new clients that you are working

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with, or you are going to external

meetings that are new, different,

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then that can also trigger that.

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Okay.

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I'll maybe just wait.

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I'll just listen.

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I'll observe and I'll

contribute in the next meeting.

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And then if we don't, it just becomes

harder and harder to contribute.

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So we want to think about how

we can get into the zone to

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make it easier for ourselves to

contribute effectively in a meeting.

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And the first thing I would

encourage you to think about doing

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is getting some perspective.

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Rather than feeling this meeting is about

me contributing, the most important thing

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is that I contribute in this meeting.

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We want to flip that and think

about this meeting isn't about me.

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This meeting is about giving ideas,

sharing updates, making decisions,

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building relationships or a whole

combination of those things.

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And actually that if I've been invited

along to this meeting or my role has

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a position in this meeting, then.

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I am considered valuable and no

one's gonna invite me 'cause they

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want me to sit there and nod along.

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They want to hear my contribution.

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They want me to share my opinion

and that can be helpful at

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getting a bit of perspective.

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Actually, they want me to contribute

and that it's not about me as a person.

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It's about my knowledge, my

expertise, and my function.

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That's the first thing is to get

perspective, but obviously there is

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anxiety around contributing meetings.

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So there's things you can

do to prepare yourself.

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The first thing is making

sure you've got an agenda.

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Most meetings will have

some sort of agenda.

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Formal or informal.

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And if you haven't got an agenda, if

you've been invited to a meeting but

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you don't know what that meeting's

for, then ask the person who's

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invited you prior to the meeting,

what's the purpose of the meeting?

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Is there anything I

should know beforehand?

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Get some information about the meeting.

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I used I used to hate going along to

meetings without really understanding.

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What they were about, because I was always

thinking how am I gonna contribute?

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What do I need to know?

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What should I be taking

along to that meeting?

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It's okay to, get more information.

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I.

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And then when you've got the agenda, you

can think about, okay, which is the area

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that I feel I could contribute most on,

where I feel I want to share a view.

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And then you can do some prep in

terms of thinking about what you

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want to say, what your view might be.

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What would be most useful for the other

people in the meeting for me to share.

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And you can make some notes and you

can take those notes along with you.

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And that helps you manage that

sense of being potentially put on

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the spot because you've done your

thinking in advance of the meeting.

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And this can help as well if you are

on the introvert preference in terms

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of personality types because introverts

tend to like to do their thinking.

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Internally before they contribute,

whereas extroverts will do their

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thinking as they're talking.

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But obviously if you are an introvert

and you're in quite a fast-paced

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meeting, but the time you've done your

thinking, the topic might have moved

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on and then you can't contribute, you

can't make that valuable contribution.

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Being able to do that thinking

beforehand can allow you to be

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ready to make your contribution.

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'cause you've done that thinking

in advance of the meeting.

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And even if you're on the extrovert

preference, doing that thinking

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before the meeting can be helpful

for you as well because it means you,

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you've shaped, you formed your view.

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You don't need to do a lot of talking to

get to the point that you want to make.

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That's the second thing, is to

think about grabbing the agenda,

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getting hold of it, thinking about

where you want to have impact.

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Then you can also think about contributing

something in the first 10 minutes of

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the meeting, depending how long the

meeting's gonna be, but certainly in

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the initial part of the meeting, whether

that's asking a question or agreeing

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with or affirming somebody else's

contribution because that helps you.

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Then contribute your bigger

contribution if you like, further

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in the meeting, because you've got

over the hurdle of saying something,

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even if it's just a small thing.

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In that initial part of the meeting,

because if you wait, then your

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confidence can just ever weigh

because it feels more pressure.

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But if you've spoken already in

the meeting, it's just taking a

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little bit of that pressure off.

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Plus people asking questions in

meetings is valuable because it

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helps other people get clarification.

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It can shift views.

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It can mean that.

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It's not always the status quo

that everyone goes along with.

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Also getting that perspective of, it's

actually helpful for me to ask questions

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if something's not clear, and you can bet

your bottom dollar if you are not clear.

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Everybody else in the meeting isn't clear

too nobody wants to be that person who

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says, could you just clarify that point?

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But recognizing it's

probably everybody else's.

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Feeling the same can be helpful

. And also to remember this is

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again, perspective shifting that

actually the chair of the meeting

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will find it helpful if you are

asking questions and contributing.

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Now, I've chaired meetings in the past.

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I've facilitated meetings, I've run

workshops, and if it's a very quiet

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group, people aren't contributing.

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People aren't , asking questions.

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It's really hard work as a chair.

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So again, giving yourself, I'm

being helpful by asking questions

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or showing engagement can also

shift that perspective for you

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. Takes that pressure off.

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It's all about me.

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. Then something else you can think

about doing to help you is asking

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a colleague or asking the chair if

you know them well to come to you.

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Four of you.

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So to give you an opportunity to

share your view on a particular area.

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Although it is you being put on the

spot, you are prepared, they're going to

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ask you to share a view, so it's easier

for you then to make that contribution.

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Or you could ask your colleague to back

you up on a point that you're gonna

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make so you can brief and beforehand,

I'm gonna make this contribution.

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Would you feel comfortable showing your

agreements with this particular area

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because knowing you've got backup can,

again, make you feel , more confident

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in sharing your particular view.

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If you've asked your colleague or the

chair to give you the opportunity to

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speak, you can also ask them for feedback

after the meeting because getting feedback

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in terms of, how did my contribution land?

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Did it have impact?

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Did I do it confidently?

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Can help you recognize actually when I

am contributing, it's going really well.

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Being specific about the feedback you

want from the colleague or the chair

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can help them give you feedback that's

gonna help you boost your confidence.

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Then our next point is to show

engagement and that you are

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listening in the meeting.

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Because sometimes if you're

not contributing, it's easy to

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switch off a bit, but you want

to show that you are engaged.

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Use your body language to show that

you are engaged, good eye contact,

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leaning forward, nodding, smiling,

particularly if it's a virtual meeting.

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Shows that you are somebody

who's participating.

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Even if you're not saying anything at that

point it shows that you are a valuable

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team member and it makes it easier for

you to contribute because the more engaged

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you are, the more you're definitely

gonna have a point that you want to make.

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And then when you do contribute,

obviously it's to make it concise.

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Everyone's busy.

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People don't want meetings to drag on.

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No one likes somebody who's taking

10 minutes to make a point, so making

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sure that your contribution is concise.

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And then you can use things like

power gestures to help emphasize your.

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The point that you're putting across

and enhance the meaning of your words.

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Power gestures can be things like

steeping your hands, putting your

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fingers together and creating a steeple

with your hands leaning forward.

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Or it could be your palms together

can also demonstrate, power to

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your words or, think counting.

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So as you're making points, you are

counting them off on your fingers.

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Those power gestures can help you

to have more impact in the meeting.

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The other thing you can do in the

meetings is to look at who is.

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Making contributions that are being

received well and observing what

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they're doing and thinking about what

you might want to experiment with

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if you think it's authentic to you.

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Doing that observation about people who

are being really effective in meetings can

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also be helpful for you in changing your

approach in a way that feels authentic.

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You don't wanna do something

that's not authentic 'cause

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it won't come across well.

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You also want to have a

strategy for interruptions.

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'cause remember the research shows

that women get interrupted and talked

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over far more than men doing meetings.

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You want to have a strategy for if

that happens to you, and to have

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practiced that strategy so you feel

comfortable with it, because you're

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gonna have to be assertive with it.

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It might be something like saying, excuse

me, I would like to finish my point.

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Or I have more to add.

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Please let me finish.

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Which you might have to repeat.

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But obviously if you've got a

good relationship with the chair,

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you can look to the chair for

support around that as well.

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But knowing you've got a strategy,

if you are gonna be interrupted

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or talked over, can also help

you feel confident managing that.

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And finally is to add in a

reflective piece after the meeting,

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to think about what did I do well?

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What did I learn or what would I

do differently in the next meeting?

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And really focusing on the positive bit.

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What did I do well?

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'cause we're so quick to judge ourselves.

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What didn't I do well?

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But recognizing when you have had

impact, when you have made a valid

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contribution, will continue to

boost your confidence so that in the

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next meeting you're going to feel.

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More able to speak up and to increase

your visibility in that meeting.

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Do try out some of these techniques.

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You don't have to do all of them

obviously, but think about which ones

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are gonna be the most useful for you in

terms of increasing your confidence in

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speaking up in meetings, and then through

that, increasing your visibility in

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those leadership meetings

or those client meetings.

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Do let me know how you get on.

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I'd love to know if you've tried

something, what's worked, or if you've

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got other ideas that have worked

or that you've seen have worked.

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I'd love to know what they might be.

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Thank you for joining me

and have a great week.

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Thank you so much for listening

to this episode of the Unstuck

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and Unstoppable podcast.

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I have lots of free resources you

can access on my website, ww.career

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tree coaching.co

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uk, and I'll also put

links in the show notes.

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If you found this episode

helpful, then please subscribe

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so you don't miss the next one.

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And please do share it with a

friend and leave me a review

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and I will personally thank you.

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Remember, you're capable of more

than you know, shine brightly.

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Lead boldly and unlock the

extraordinary potential within you.

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Be unstoppable.