Episode 25 How to Advocate for Yourself as a Leader
As a female leader, knowing how to advocate for yourself is a game-changer. But let’s be real—doing it can feel awkward, uncomfortable, or even risky. In this e episode, Sarah dives into why self-advocacy is often difficult for women in leadership and shares practical steps to build your confidence, communicate your value, and ask for what you need to thrive. With reflections from her own leadership journey and client experiences, Sarah walks you through the mindset shifts and strategies to become your own best advocate—without feeling pushy or inauthentic. Whether you're feeling stuck, overlooked, or just want to lead with more purpose and presence, this episode will give you the tools to stand tall and speak up.
Show Notes
[00:00:00] Welcome to Unstuck and Unstoppable – Helping ambitious female leaders thrive with purpose
[00:01:00] Why self-advocacy matters and how it helps unlock your potential
[00:02:00] What is self-advocacy—and why is it so crucial for women in leadership?
[00:03:00] Sarah’s personal story of learning to self-advocate at Amnesty International
[00:04:00] Why it’s hard to advocate for yourself: stats, fears, and systemic barriers
[00:05:00] The inner rules and beliefs that hold us back (“I want doesn’t get”)
[00:06:00] A client story: when confidence in self-advocacy gets shaken by toxic leadership
[00:07:00] Step 1: Get clarity on what you want, need, and where you thrive
[00:08:00] Understanding your boundaries and available resources
[00:09:00] Step 2: Talk about your work and position your value
[00:10:00] How visibility of your contributions influence career opportunities
[00:11:00] Step 3: Know your worth and don't be afraid to ask for support
[00:12:00] Expect pushback: how resilience builds stronger self-advocacy
[00:13:00] Step 4: Advocate with others—collective action for greater change
[00:14:00] Step 5: Do the inner work—confidence, mindset, and belief in your value
[00:15:00] Why advocating for yourself benefits everyone, especially your team
[00:16:00] Quick recap + free resources and a reminder: you are unstoppable
Useful Links
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Remember: Shine brightly. Lead boldly. Unlock the extraordinary potential within you. You are unstoppable. 💥
Transcript
Welcome to Unstuck and Unstoppable,
the podcast for ambitious female
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:leaders who want to create more impact,
income, and influence in their careers.
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:feel connected to their passion
and purpose, but without
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:selling out or burning out.
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:I'm Sarah Archer, a leadership coach
and career strategist, helping women
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:like you thrive in leadership roles
while staying true to your values.
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:I'm the founder of CareerTree
Coaching and have over 15 years of
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:coaching experience and significant HR
leadership experience to share with you.
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:I know as a female leader it can
be hard to find time to focus
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:on your career aspirations.
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:The day job can be all consuming.
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:Plus, no matter how senior you are,
there are always going to be times
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:when you feel stuck, when you have
self doubt, or feel like an imposter.
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:And that's where unstuck
and unstoppable comes in.
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:Each week I'll be sharing practical
strategies, insightful interviews and
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:inspiring stories to help you boost
your confidence, lead with purpose
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:and achieve sustainable success.
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:If you're ready to stop playing
small and unlock the incredible
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:potential you have within you and feel
unstoppable, you're in the right place.
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:Let's get started.
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:Welcome to episode 25.
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:I'm really pleased that you're joining me.
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:Today, we're going to talk about how
to advocate for yourself as a leader.
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:We're gonna look at what it is
why is it hard, how to do it,
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:and the benefits of doing it.
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:What is self-advocacy?
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:In the very basic sense, it's
being able to speak up for
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:your own needs and interests.
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:And it means taking a more proactive
role in making sure your actions align
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:with your goals rather than being swept
along with the general flow of things.
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:And to be honest, self-advocacy
and resilience are crucial
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:skills for female leaders.
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:I saw a post yesterday from Mary s the
England goalkeeper in the women's team,
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:and she was posting about self-advocacy.
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:, if we don't do it for ourselves, you
know who is going to do it for us?
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:We have to be able to position ourselves,
talk about ourselves in a way that means
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:that we get what we need and what we want.
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:And so that's what we're
gonna talk about today.
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:And when I was thinking about this, I
think I learned how to advocate for myself
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:when I worked for amnesty International,
which is a campaigning organization.
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:I was surrounded by people who
were really skilled advocates.
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:'cause that's what they were paid to do.
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:They were paid to be able to advocate
for people who couldn't advocate for
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:themselves, and they were all skilled
at it, both in the external environment.
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:Also in the internal environment,
and I was the HR manager there.
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:I put it into the CEO.
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:And I worked alongside other
C-suite leaders and managers.
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:And I had to be able to advocate not
just for myself, but also for the
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:HR function and in a sense for the
people that I was representing the
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:employees and the management team.
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:I had to learn quickly how to be
able to advocate effectively and.
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:In a way, a great opportunity to
observe people who are really good at
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:it to reflect on what I did and to get
clear about what I needed to advocate on
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:effectively, which is obviously what we're
gonna talk about today is how you do that.
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:But let's talk about why it's hard.
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:'cause I have to say
I didn't find it easy.
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:I'd never had to do that kind of
self-advocacy previously, but it was
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:my first leadership role and I had to
step up and learn how to be an advocate.
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:A recent survey by Indeed showed that only
43% of women, so fairly, chunky amount
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:of women, but certainly below, 50%.
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:So 43% of women feel they advocate
the right amount for themselves.
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:So that means 57% don't, and they don't
because of anxiety, fear of retribution,
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:fear of being labeled aggressive or
pushy being perceived negatively.
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:It is hard for women, and often in,
in the workplace we can experience
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:microaggressions, about , the
gender pay gap that exists.
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:There's also, systemic barriers to
advancement that women experience,
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:which all contribute to making it
harder for us to self-advocate.
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:And then we've got.
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:Some internal stuff as well
that we have to navigate.
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:It can feel awkward and
uncomfortable to self-advocate.
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:I was brought up with a rule, if you
like, and you might resonate with this,
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:I want doesn't get, so being clear about
what you wanted, expressing what you
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:wanted as a child was told if you do
that, you're not gonna get what you want.
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:And those internal rules can.
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:Trip us up and hold us
back later in life too.
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:We have to get over
those internal barriers.
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:And then we might also feel that there's
no point in speaking up because we don't
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:see change happening in our organization,
or we don't see or we see other women
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:doing it, but not making a difference.
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:So we maybe feel like.
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:What's the point in doing it?
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:But I would say that, even if your
organization isn't an organization
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:that's open to you being an advocate
for yourself, you have to start stepping
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:into that person that you want to
be, because otherwise you take that
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:non-self advocacy into your next role.
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:So practicing our self-advocacy, even if
you're not getting the results you want.
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:Puts you in a better place
to continue that journey of
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:self-advocacy through your career.
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:Let's think about how to do it.
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:But before we do that, I wanna
tell you about a client that I've
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:worked with because sometimes it can
be circumstantial as well, so she.
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:Previously had been able to self-advocate
pretty well, and then in her role
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:that she was in, she was working for
a female leader, which is interesting.
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:Who, was very good at advocating for
herself, but put my client into a
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:situation where she took the back seat
in the meetings that she was in.
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:She wasn't enabled to lead
on particular projects.
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:Her boss took the lead, took the
credit for the team, and, she
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:felt her role wasn't clear either.
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:And so she felt she lost
her confidence and lost her
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:ability to be a self-advocate.
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:And what we're doing now is we're working
on her strengths and, understanding
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:the value she brings and some of the
things that I'm gonna talk to you about
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:in terms of how you can self advocate.
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:So notice that sometimes it can be the
environment that we're in that isn't
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:conducive to us being self advocating
and that we have to be aware of that
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:and have strategies to be able to
manage that if that is happening for us.
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:The first thing, and I talk about this a
lot with my clients, is having clarity.
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:. You have to understand your own
needs and your own wants because
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:if you don't understand what they
are, how can you advocate for them?
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:Knowing what you need in order to do
your job well, knowing what you want
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:in terms of where you want to go
means that it's easier for people to
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:understand what you want to do in terms
of your career advancement and your
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:development, and they can better help you.
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:It's also about getting clarity
about knowing where you thrive.
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:Like the client I just mentioned, knowing
what the conditions are that enable you to
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:be a good self-advocate is really helpful.
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:So getting that clarity.
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:Also, part of that is
understanding your boundaries.
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:Knowing what you will say yes to, knowing
what you will say no to will help you.
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:Advocate for what you need
in order to deliver your job.
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:And knowing what the available
resources are will help you
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:to advocate for what you need.
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:Knowing what's possible can
help with those in a sense.
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:Negotiating sometimes what you want
or what you need in your career or in
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:your particular work for your team.
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:The next thing to think about, is getting
used to talking about , what you do.
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:And this plays into positioning
yourself for what you need as well,
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:and it's advocating for your value.
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:If you imagine you have two members
of staff and one of them you ask
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:them how the project's going and they
go, yeah, it's going really well.
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:We're on schedule.
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:I had a few things to iron
out, but it's all happening.
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:It's doing really well.
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:You think.
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:Great.
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:Brilliant.
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:Then you ask the other employee,
how's your project going?
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:And they say, yeah, it's on track.
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:But I've had to renegotiate
things with a client because
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:I flagged an issue with them.
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:I've had to manage resources because
we had somebody go on long-term
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:sick or whatever it might have been.
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:I've had to deal with this
particular challenge, and the
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:way I've done that is X or y.
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:You'll be thinking, great they've
really great problem solver.
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:They've managed things really
well, and they're still on track.
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:Then when it comes to promotion or
an opportunity you might think your
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:second staff member is more ready
for that particular opportunity or
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:challenge or project or promotion
because you think of them as being a
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:skilled problem solver, a negotiator
of , strong client relationships.
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:Whereas the other person in your
team, . You might think they're great
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:at delivery, but you think they have
it easy because they never flag the
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:complexity of what they're doing for you.
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:They just deliver.
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:And sad that it may be because those
two people, those two, staff members,
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:are probably equally skilled because
employee one isn't articulating and
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:advocating for themselves in terms
of, this is what I do, this is how
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:I do it, this is how I add value.
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:It's not seen.
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:So part of being a self-advocate
and asking for what you need and
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:what you want is also being able to
articulate the value that you bring.
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:It's getting used to stepping
into your power and articulating
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:the value you bring.
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:And women definitely find that
harder to do because we just.
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:Get on with stuff, don't we?
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:We just deliver.
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:We don't often spend time talking about
the way we do it, and particularly when
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:you are working as a leader, you sometimes
think my boss, they're really busy.
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:They don't want all this detail.
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:But actually it can be helpful to your
boss to understand what's going on.
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:It's getting that balance right.
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:Then you want to think about being able
to know your worth, which is part of this.
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:Self-advocacy and
communicating what you do.
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:Understanding your strengths and
your contribution and knowing your
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:value, and again, articulating that.
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:So linking it with strengths,
and that's with my client.
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:That's what we're working on at
the moment, is getting clear
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:about strengths and the value that
she brings to the organization.
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:And , being able to communicate
those similarly, communicating what
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:you need to people who can help you.
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:Not being afraid to ask for help when
you need to, when you need that.
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:It's part of self-advocacy is not
going alone, but recognizing I need
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:some help or support with this and
articulating and asking for that.
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:And being prepared for
pushback because when we.
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:Advocate for ourselves and ask
for what we need, what we want.
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:People aren't always gonna say
yes, often you're gonna get a no.
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:You're gonna get rejection.
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:And it's being prepared for that
and building that resilience.
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:As I mentioned before, self-advocacy
and resilience are two really
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:key skills for female leaders.
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:Being resilient to that pushback and
not letting it deflate you and think.
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:I'm not gonna try again.
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:Reflection is a superpower for leaders.
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:When you have advocated for yourself,
when it's perhaps not gone well,
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:it's taking that time to go, okay,
what did go well in that conversation?
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:What didn't go well and what would
I do differently to get a different
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:outcome is a great way of being able
to build resilience and also continue
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:to advocate by not taking it personally.
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:You can also think about collaborating
with other female leaders in your
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:organization to advocate together
for what change you want, because
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:there's obviously more power in doing
that as a collective, as a group.
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:If you feel, you are on the senior
leadership team and maybe something like
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:wellbeing isn't being prioritized enough,
coming together as a group to advocate
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:for that for change can be more powerful.
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:Or it could be something else, resource
allocation, whatever it might be.
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:Doing it together can
actually affect more change.
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:And then there's always the inner work,
which , I talk about a lot because
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:the reason we might not advocate
often is, that fear of rejection,
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:fear of retribution fear of being
labeled too aggressive, too bossy.
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:All of those things.
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:Can get in our way plus the
programming that we've had.
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:Being able to practice positive self-talk.
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:Tracking your achievements.
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:Thinking about skills you want to improve
so you can boost your confidence and not
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:being afraid to ask for help is going
to be helpful in terms of advocating
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:for yourself because your confidence
has got to be in the right space.
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:For you to be able to self-advocate
and they are a symbiotic relationship.
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:The confident you feel, the more
likely you are to self-advocate.
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:The more you self-advocate,
the more confidence you feel.
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:They do support one another.
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:It's taking small steps if
you feel I'm quite far away
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:from being able to confidently
advocate for myself at the moment.
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:And of course, as always, if you feel
you want some coaching or some support
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:with this, then do obviously message
me and we can have a conversation about
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:your particular situation and what you
might need to put into practice to get
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:to the point where you are confidently
self advocating for what you need.
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:Why do this?
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:What are the benefits of
advocating for yourself?
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:Obviously in the long run, it means you're
better equipped to deal with difficult
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:situations 'cause you've built that
resilience and you're clear about asking
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:for what you want and what you need.
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:You're gonna feel empowered
by, standing up for yourself
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:and advocating for yourself.
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:And again, that's going to give
you greater self-confidence.
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:And as we talked about, those
things support one another.
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:It's gonna enable you to become
more open and transparent about
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:what you need, what you want.
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:And that's obviously gonna help
in terms of people being able to
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:support you in your career growth
because they're clear about what
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:you are looking for, what you need.
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:It's going to improve your communication
skills if you can be, open about where
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:you are, what you need, what's going on,
what you're doing, et cetera, et cetera.
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:And it's gonna help you to be a better
leader , because you can encourage your
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:team and you can enable them and empower
them to also become self advocating, which
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:again, improves performance of the team.
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:A very quick recap of how to do it.
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:Key is getting clarity, what you
want, what you need, what enables you
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:to thrive, what your boundaries are.
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:Get used to talking about you,
what you do, how you do it.
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:Know your own worth.
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:Collaborate where possible
with other female leaders.
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:Don't be afraid to ask for
help and do that inner work.
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:That means you can build your confidence
in order to advocate well for yourself.
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:Do let me know how it goes.
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:If you've got any success
stories, please do share them.
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:If you've got other tips that you feel
would be useful in terms of advocating
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:for yourself, then please do share them.
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:Thank you so much for listening
to this episode of the Unstuck
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:and Unstoppable podcast.
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:I have lots of free resources you
can access on my website, ww.career
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:tree coaching.co
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:uk, and I'll also put
links in the show notes.
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:If you found this episode
helpful, then please subscribe
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:so you don't miss the next one.
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:And please do share it with a
friend and leave me a review
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:and I will personally thank you.
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:Remember, you're capable of
more than shine brightly.
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:Lead boldly and unlock the
extraordinary potential within you.
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:Be unstoppable.