Episode 23 How to Stop Sabotaging Your Leadership Career

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Welcome to Unstuck and Unstoppable,

the podcast for ambitious female

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leaders who want to create more impact,

income, and influence in their careers.

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feel connected to their passion

and purpose, but without

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selling out or burning out.

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I'm Sarah Archer, a leadership coach

and career strategist, helping women

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like you thrive in leadership roles

while staying true to your values.

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I'm the founder of CareerTree

Coaching and have over 15 years of

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coaching experience and significant HR

leadership experience to share with you.

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I know as a female leader it can

be hard to find time to focus

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on your career aspirations.

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The day job can be all consuming.

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Plus, no matter how senior you are,

there are always going to be times

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when you feel stuck, when you have

self doubt, or feel like an imposter.

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And that's where unstuck

and unstoppable comes in.

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Each week I'll be sharing practical

strategies, insightful interviews and

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inspiring stories to help you boost

your confidence, lead with purpose

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and achieve sustainable success.

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If you're ready to stop playing

small and unlock the incredible

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potential you have within you and feel

unstoppable, you're in the right place.

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Let's get started.

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Welcome to episode 23.

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I'm really glad you're here.

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This episode is all about how to stop

sabotaging your leadership career.

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Let's dive into today's topic.

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'cause I do a lot of work with clients

around career confidence and there's lots

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of different aspects to career confidence.

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It's quite a complex.

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Topic.

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I wanted to pull out one of those

aspects, which is about self-sabotaging

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and you might notice this if you

find yourself thinking about the

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next step in your leadership career.

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But you find yourself holding

yourself back from going from it.

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And maybe your inner voice is

telling you're not ready or that

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it's not the right time, or you find

yourself, talking yourself outta

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going for it for whatever reason.

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You're just putting off.

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Applying for that new job or

going for promotion or whatever it

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might be that you want to do next.

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You find yourself

getting in your own way.

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So we want to understand what's

going on and often that self sabotage

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has a root of fear behind it.

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And when we feel fear, what can happen

is we can get paralyzed by that fear.

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It stops us taking action,

it stops us moving forward.

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And it can be quite exhausting because

cognitively we're thinking about the

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time I should be going for that role.

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Why am I not going for it?

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And it can feel quite exhausting.

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And if we let it carry on, then we can

start to see ourselves differently.

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We can start to see ourselves as

smaller or lesser in some way as

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somebody who doesn't take risks,

who doesn't put themselves forward.

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So it's a dangerous place to be.

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And if you are recognizing this is

happening to you, it is about taking

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action to prevent it becoming a

, semi-permanent state, I did some research

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a few years ago with some of my clients

who were thinking about career change.

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But obviously this

self-sabotage can take place.

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Whatever kind of change you're thinking

about, whether it's a shift upwards or

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sideways or whether it's a bigger change

and the things that came out for them

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as the major obstacles for them taking

action around the change that they wanted

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to happen were the fear of change itself.

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The fear of failure.

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The fear of making the wrong decision

and the fear about what other people

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might think they were the main things

that were getting in their way.

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And the result of that?

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Was that they were feeling stuck, that

they just weren't taking action in.

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The direction they wanted to travel.

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The first thing that you can do, and

this is I've found that I've worked

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with clients around change in lots of

different ways for the last 15 years.

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Lots of experience at helping people

unpack what's actually going on for

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them and what's getting in their way.

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Understanding why you are fearful can be

helpful because then it'll help unlock

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and be able to manage some of those fears.

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The fear can be around or can be

linked to the belief that we have

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about ourselves and what is possible.

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You can think back to your early life,

so school, parents, maybe early career,

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and think about the messages that you were

given, about what was possible for you.

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Were you encouraged to expand your

dreams about what was possible for you?

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Or were you encouraged

to keep your dreams?

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I.

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Small, manageable, realistic,

limited in some way.

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Were, your aspirations, , lower than

perhaps where you would like them

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to be because understanding, why you

might be putting a ceiling on where

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you can get to can be quite helpful.

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And those influential experiences

early in our life, early in our

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career can definitely play into that.

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And going alongside that is that fear

about what other people might think.

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Those voices that we have that come

from society, from our parents,

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from our peers, from our managers

can also, impact us in terms of

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what are other people gonna think?

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How am I thinking they're gonna

judge me about my next move?

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And maybe you feel like you've got to

live up to their expectations, or maybe

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you've gotta please them in some way.

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And all of that stuff can get in

the way of you taking action because

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you're worried about what other people.

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Might be thinking about your choices.

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And then also our circumstances might

be playing into some of our fears around

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making that next step, that next move.

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Because if you are the main breadwinner,

or you are a solo parent, or you

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live alone, or you have family

responsibilities, that impact on your

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financial wellbeing, your financial

security can keep you feeling stuck.

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I don't want to make a change

because what happens if.

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Being able to unpack where the fears

are coming from can be helpful.

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Need to be able to move

past those and manage them.

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Now, I'm gonna give you a few techniques

to help you with that, but , depending

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on how deep rooted those fears

are, you might find that you need.

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Some support to help you

move past those fears.

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So that could be a coach or some other

professional to help you with that.

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But if you feel, actually I just

need a bit of a kickstart to get

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me moving, then you could think

about these techniques to help you.

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So the first one is to think about

visualizing the future positively.

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When we're feeling fearful, when we

think about the future, it can be a bit

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like playing a bad movie in our head.

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So it might go something like this.

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Okay, if I leave my current

job and I go to that next level

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role in that organization, what

happens if it doesn't work out?

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The company gets into difficulty or

I'm not performing, and then they let

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me go and then I don't have a job and

I've got my mortgage to pay and I might

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lose my house, and then I might lose.

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Everything.

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And you can catastrophize about what's

going to happen if you make that move.

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And if you're playing that bad movie

in your head, you're not gonna be taking

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action because , your brain is taking

you to the ultimate , bad outcome.

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But what I want you to think about is

if you are the director of the movie,

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which you are in charge of your.

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Destiny, you can rewrite

the script at any point.

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What you can do is think about

rewriting that movie if you like,

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when you're visualizing the future

and thinking about all the positives

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or the good things that could happen.

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So if I take that next leadership

role, actually it's gonna make me

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more fulfilled 'cause I'm gonna

feel more challenged and stretched.

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I'm gonna get a great pay rise, which

will help with my financial security.

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I'm gonna get the opportunity to work

on the things that really interest me.

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I'm going to meet some great new people.

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It's gonna be stimulating.

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I can visualize it going well.

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I know that I've got the skills and

capability to do it, and so you can

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play out that positive movie in your

head about the way it's going to go.

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And what you would have to do is play

that movie to yourself every day,

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tweaking it, refining it, making it even

more compelling for it to then balance

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out the fears that you might be having.

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And there will be the temptation to go

back and play the old movie, but you've

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got to resist that temptation and play

the new movie in your head about the

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successful shift you're going to make.

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Whatever that shift might look

like because then you're going to

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feel more confident about taking

the action to make that a reality.

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And what's really interesting and this

comes from neuroscience, is that actually

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the brain can't distinguish that well

between what's real and what's visualized.

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So by you visualizing it in a really

positive way, your brain is really

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going to connect with that and see

that as a reality and a way of being.

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So it's more likely that

will be the outcome.

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The, new role is gonna go well,

you're gonna do well in it.

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You're gonna have the stability that

you are fearful, you might lose.

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The other great thing about then having

that movie in your head is that you can

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then break that down and make a plan about

how you're going to make it a reality.

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Because what you want to do is take out

some of the overwhelm of making this.

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Shift.

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By playing that movie, you can

think about, okay, if I'm gonna go

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for that role or that promotion,

what do I need to think about now?

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What are the gaps I need to fill?

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Who do I need to be visible to?

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Who do I need to be networking with?

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What are the practical things I need to do

about my CV or my interview performance?

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What else do I need to put

in place to make it happen?

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And you can create a

plan for yourself, which.

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Action.

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Conquer fear.

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I love that quote.

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By taking action, concrete action towards

that goal, the goal being your positive

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movie you'll start to reduce the fear

because you'll see that things are going

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well, . And then the other thing you can

do to give you support during this period

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is look for positive people to be around.

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Positive people with a growth mindset.

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People who believe that anything

is possible will help you to shift

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your view as well to see that

anything is possible for you.

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So noticing people around you.

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It could be friends, it could be peers.

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Could be people in your organization

who exhibit that positive mindset

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and see things as possibilities and

exciting opportunities rather than risks.

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Hanging out with them as much as

possible will help you to manage

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some of those fears and see also

that things are possible for you.

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I'm hoping that's given you

some food for thought about A,

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where the fears are coming from,

and B, the action you can take.

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, if you need some help with

this, then please do DM me.

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We can have a chat about how I could

support you to make that shift if

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you feel like you're getting in your

own way and holding yourself back.

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Love to know if you try any

of these, ideas how it's

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worked for you, do let me know

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Thank you so much for listening

to this episode of the Unstuck

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and Unstoppable podcast.

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I have lots of free resources you

can access on my website, ww.career

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tree coaching.co

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uk, and I'll also put

links in the show notes.

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If you found this episode

helpful, then please subscribe

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so you don't miss the next one.

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And please do share it with a

friend and leave me a review

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and I will personally thank you.

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Remember, you're capable of more

than you know, shine brightly.

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Lead boldly and unlock the

extraordinary potential within you.

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Be unstoppable.